why do exams stress me out so much? its like the smallest thing can set me off.
in the recent years i have calmed down significantly. i used to have much more mood swings, which would go from negative to positive extremes in a very short amount of time, with negative mood prevailing.
as time moved on, so did my mood swings. in the past 3 years it has been a particularly strong wave of improvement, with moods straying towards mostly positive.
last 2 years, i am happy.
but exams – only exams, no other kind of stress, not work, not people stress, not photoshoots-gone-wrong, no fights, no broken cameras, laptops, no missed flights-lost-luggage, no other situation except exams – bring back these terrible moodswings where i can barely get a handle on myself. it feels like if i don’t do well, everything will end. and i know – i know – that it is not true. at this point marks matter so little. i’ll be fine even if i have to take this stupid databases course 5 times.
and still, right now, if i’m not studying or keeping myself busy with something (talking, cleaning), i just start freaking out.
and i’m in 4th year and i still can’t get a handle on this.
playlist:
Mc solaar – La belle et le bad boy
Conjure One – Sleep
Sean Paul – We be Burnin
Max Richter – November
Moby – Raining Again
tchaikovsky – swan lake
bt – remember (sasha’s mix)
Sarah Brightman – Deliver me
and that’s all really.