deux balles de 22. vingt deux ans adieu

why do exams stress me out so much? its like the smallest thing can set me off.

in the recent years i have calmed down significantly. i used to have much more mood swings, which would go from negative to positive extremes in a very short amount of time, with negative mood prevailing.

as time moved on, so did my mood swings. in the past 3 years it has been a particularly strong wave of improvement, with moods straying towards mostly positive.

last 2 years, i am happy.

but exams – only exams, no other kind of stress, not work, not people stress, not photoshoots-gone-wrong, no fights, no broken cameras, laptops, no missed flights-lost-luggage, no other situation except exams – bring back these terrible moodswings where i can barely get a handle on myself. it feels like if i don’t do well, everything will end. and i know – i know – that it is not true. at this point marks matter so little. i’ll be fine even if i have to take this stupid databases course 5 times.

and still, right now, if i’m not studying or keeping myself busy with something (talking, cleaning), i just start freaking out.

and i’m in 4th year and i still can’t get a handle on this.

playlist:

  • Mc solaar – La belle et le bad boy
  • Conjure One – Sleep
  • Sean Paul – We be Burnin
  • Max Richter – November
  • Moby – Raining Again
  • tchaikovsky – swan lake
  • bt – remember (sasha’s mix)
  • Sarah Brightman – Deliver me
  • and that’s all really.

    6 thoughts on “deux balles de 22. vingt deux ans adieu”

    1. whooa cool design.
      very un olya, which fits the entry perfectly
      *hug*
      i know exactly how you feel.
      and i feel so sorry for my groupmates who have me yelling at them all day haha nothing they can do i’m the smartest one (sad eh?)

      *huuuuug*
      be strong. anyone can take 10 days of exams. just keep counting down

    2. we all have our little things like that.
      and yea it sucks when you cant control it.
      seriously, thank god exams happen twice a year and for only a week or so.
      on the positive side, next exams you’ll be writing in sydney which, i think, should be a better experience :)

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