mm smirnoff ice

date: 1073628314

mood:
listening to:

1 bottle and im buzzed.

met hesi in pub, we talked, it was nice although too loud for talking at times. therefore the smirnoff.

at 6:15 i realized i have a 6-9 class today.

my dog doesn’t have a hot spot, she has histiocytoma – http://www.vetinfo.com/dhistio.html
blah. vet said not to worry so far.

my classes are fun. i like all of them. no more math! even if they are hard and info overloading at least they are fun.

not enough time

date: 1074026076

mood: weird
listening to:a-ha – take on me [techno remix]

and so i’m back into the ritual of not having enough time to do everything.

its almost 4. i should … oh good god, thinking about all the things that i should do, and all of them major – i just die considering the consequences of not doing half of them.

emailing, homework, work, and whats ironic is that i started to realize that … well, okay, people are important.

see, maybe like 2-3 years ago, not only i didn’t have a feeling of being overwhelemed by things, i didn’t have to schedule time to spend with people. it was easy to “schedule” time because there weren’t that many people with whom i kept in touch.

but now… geez, its like an avalanche. i know *counts* 3 people. like, really really well. and each of these people has a group of people who are fun, smart, interesting and with whom i want to spend time. and then there’s hesi! who is not only all of the above but beats them all in importance.
and our schedules are as mitmatched as possible it seems. grrr.

any that’s only real life. and you know, to meet people i need like 40 minutes transporation, cause im a loser like that, and i need time with them and 40 minutes back and 3 people == 3 weekend nights and then there’s hesi and aaaaaaaaaaaah.

and i should be doing my homework and not typing this.

you know what helps?

SINGING!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!1

TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAKE OOOOOOOOOOON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEee
TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOnn
ILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN EE
TUDUDUTOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOO

*cough*

and back to your regularly schedule life.

snapping

date: 1074057761

mood: doubleplusungood
listening to:cant run winamp

i think i’d be a nicer person to everyone if i didn’t feel so fucking incompetent to do univ life right now.

fuck this.

give me back my broken night

date: 1074223925

mood: sleepy
listening to:leonard cohen – *

i feel so undecisive. i changed title 4 times. i used a wildcard in song because i keep switching, although its all the same artist.

anyway.
my day… or days.

assignment due in 207, which i diligently ignored for a while, and then with a friend’s help finished. thank you, captain! ;)

im so tired to type and hands are cold

and that would be my number one point.

IT IS SO FREAkING COLD OUTSIDE!!!!!!

whats wrong with this planet? come on, cut at least the poor univ students who have to walk between buildings and subways and busses and be outside every day a slack!

my number two point would be i wore glasses today. i have had huge complexes about wearing glasses for a long time now, cause … well, i got glasses about the same time i moved to canada, to a rather agressive high school so my associations aren’t that good. anyway, i woke up this morning, slumbered over to the bathroom mirror, looked up and realized i don’t look half bad in my old glasses.

so for practice i wore them today to class. i think it made me braver. i was the leader of a small group discussion and even spoke in class.

which brings us swiftly to topic number three.

i love my jlp language acquisition class

she was lecturing for about 1.5 hours, and even more and not for a minute i felt tired, for the first time in my life! i could go on listening to that lecture forever. so much fun! so interesting! aaah i want more classes that cool.

and as a bonus every class we have a 30 minute video! i love the material SO much that i even took notes on the video! aaah im a total geek! but it is SO INTERESTING!!!

ie… when you’re 11 months old and two (to my ear) very similar (to my ear identical actually) chinese words are said, your brain waves register that you hear a difference between them

if you’re 20 months old and a north american speaker (you know, english/american), the difference is already lost on you. your brain waves register no perception.

aaah so neat!
and ther’es stuff about hemispheres, and critical period hypothesis, and second language and its all so neat. i can’t even imagine what else can we study. and… yeah! she keeps mentioning something very cool and then saying “we’ll spend a few lectures on that later”.

WEEEEEEEEEEEee.

weee hooo

date: 1074366686

mood:
listening to:blur – song 2

it wasn’t easy
but nothing is

whoooohoooo

erm, hi
yeah that’s me being hyper. im eating great food, and im studying stuff and weee. the only bad part about this week is that i didn’t get to see hesi, or any other people outside of university. booo.

“its not my problem, its not my prooobleeeeem wooohooo when i feel heavy metal”

uhmmm yeaaah no skiing today boo
gotta study and gotta clean

http://www.cs.toronto.edu/~fich/240/
http://www.cdf.utoro…cises/e02/index.html

i wonder if any of my profs going to use the “links to” feature of google. i’d so do it if i was a prof.

if you are one of my CS profs and you’re reading this page, i’d just like to say while 240 looks hard and 207 looks work intensive i am very happy to be taking both of them! w00t for girls in CS!

i think i’ll go do my homework before i’m any more crazy.

sneeze

date: 1074455936

mood:
listening to:

todo:
-> look at glasses hopefully buy
-> look at fish, hopefully buy
-> clean house
-> rewrite 240 assignment neat
-> finish reading for 270, and at least start reading for 280 (psych)
-> read linguistics stuff :D funfunfun
-> take pictures of hopefully bought fish and glasses
-> dear god this room needs vacuuming

i was gonna go skiing today but then the todo list fell on my head and i realized i can’t.

i just woke up and im eating chocolate. yay?

recursion

date: 1074494856

mood: mentally exhausted, physically agitated
listening to:enigma – mea culpa, nin – *

-> the glasses i found that i liked. didn’t buy, not yet. must compare more. blah.
-> visited a fish shop, another one, so now i know where the best bettas are. going to get them soon.
-> thought more about marks. felt stupid. felt more stupid. felt even more stupid and finally accepted and stopped being upset.
-> came home and did some questions to help parent’s friends master’s level statistics… no, wait. statistics course. felt smart. didn’t clean cause was doing that. was too tired to do anything more smart after that.
-> realized how fucking stupid it is that i can do stuff after i fuck up on the course.

ouch
heart
hurts

need to make
doctor appointment.

i hate it. it hurts more lately. or like i feel … i feel that its beating so hard that i can’t do anything else. that i need to stop and lean or i feel im going to have a heart attack. i hate it. im 20. i dont want to get tired after walking up 2 flights of stairs in the subway. i need to plan for more time to geteverywhere cause i can’t walk fast enough. fuck.

-> finished assignment. wrote 3/5 neatly. understood a hard question. i can’t decide whether im so stupid i dont see things i dont understand or im just confused periodically.

and let me guess, everyone are going to say that “nooo, you’re smart” :|
its weird. it doesn’t matter what you say. its what i feel. for 3 years my mom told me i look great with glasses. friends, relatives, told me that. and yet only when i randomly looked in the morning sleepy stare mirror and liked what i seen that could remove the complex.
and not even then fully. i was doing that uncomfortable smile thing today when i was trying on glasses.

aah fuck.

heart hurts.

mea culpa.

its the small things in life

date: 1074654745

mood: feelin’ good
listening to:modern talking – brother louie

fresh chicken soup, the way my mom makes it
her mashed potatoes
fresh, soft/crunchy french bread stick

i’m in heaven.

the fact i have an assignment due tomorrow and tomorrow is going to be long, cold, and very tiring, right now, i’m happy.

i’m so tired, but there’s so much to do that i just can’t let myself be down. and headache gone. weee!