trying to keep track of my life
pretty things on the web
i’m day dreaming about some kate spade stuff.
without going into too much detail in a public forum, i’m about to have some fairly massive changes in my life and thus am on hold in terms of big shopping decisions until these changes transpire. but i LOVE these bracelets. love their message too. i may break down and get one. or two.
and i totally need a laptop bag. just probably not this one. ha!
via the guardian and that link found via mefi. so good.
The point is that petty, frustrating crap like this is exactly where the work of choosing comes in. Because the traffic jams and crowded aisles and long checkout lines give me time to think, and if I don’t make a conscious decision about how to think and what to pay attention to, I’m going to be pissed and miserable every time I have to food-shop, because my natural default setting is the certainty that situations like this are really all about me, about my hungriness and my fatigue and my desire to just get home, and it’s going to seem, for all the world, like everybody else is just in my way, and who are all these people in my way? And look at how repulsive most of them are and how stupid and cow-like and dead-eyed and nonhuman they seem here in the checkout line, or at how annoying and rude it is that people are talking loudly on cell phones in the middle of the line, and look at how deeply unfair this is: I’ve worked really hard all day and I’m starved and tired and I can’t even get home to eat and unwind because of all these stupid goddamn people.
Or if I’m in a more socially conscious form of my default setting, I can spend time in the end-of-the-day traffic jam being angry and disgusted at all the huge, stupid, lane-blocking SUVs and Hummers and V12 pickup trucks burning their wasteful, selfish, 40-gallon tanks of gas, and I can dwell on the fact that the patriotic or religious bumper stickers always seem to be on the biggest, most disgustingly selfish vehicles driven by the ugliest, most inconsiderate and aggressive drivers, who are usually talking on cell phones as they cut people off in order to get just 20 stupid feet ahead in a traffic jam, and I can think about how our children’s children will despise us for wasting all the future’s fuel and probably screwing up the climate, and how spoiled and stupid and disgusting we all are, and how it all just sucks …
If I choose to think this way, fine, lots of us do – except that thinking this way tends to be so easy and automatic it doesn’t have to be a choice. Thinking this way is my natural default setting. It’s the automatic, unconscious way that I experience the boring, frustrating, crowded parts of adult life when I’m operating on the automatic, unconscious belief that I am the centre of the world and that my immediate needs and feelings are what should determine the world’s priorities. The thing is that there are obviously different ways to think about these kinds of situations. In this traffic, all these vehicles stuck and idling in my way: it’s not impossible that some of these people in SUVs have been in horrible car accidents in the past and now find driving so traumatic that their therapist has all but ordered them to get a huge, heavy SUV so they can feel safe enough to drive; or that the Hummer that just cut me off is maybe being driven by a father whose little child is hurt or sick in the seat next to him, and he’s trying to rush to the hospital, and he’s in a much bigger, more legitimate hurry than I am – it is actually I who am in his way.
Again, please don’t think that I’m giving you moral advice, or that I’m saying you’re “supposed to” think this way, or that anyone expects you to just automatically do it, because it’s hard, it takes will and mental effort, and if you’re like me, some days you won’t be able to do it, or you just flat-out won’t want to. But most days, if you’re aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her little child in the checkout line – maybe she’s not usually like this; maybe she’s been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband who’s dying of bone cancer, or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the Motor Vehicles Dept who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a nightmarish red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness. Of course, none of this is likely, but it’s also not impossible – it just depends on what you want to consider. If you’re automatically sure that you know what reality is and who and what is really important – if you want to operate on your default setting – then you, like me, will not consider possibilities that aren’t pointless and annoying. But if you’ve really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. It will be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars – compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff’s necessarily true: the only thing that’s capital-T True is that you get to decide how you’re going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn’t. You get to decide what to worship.
it’s a bit wild that i have a blog category for material objects, but there you have it. i do like Things.
anyway, this is my newestbestestlatest Thing – my new kate spade purse. it is gorgeous.
also:
– cashmere wrap (YES)
– navy suit
– silk blouse
– nude shoes
– black booties
– golden aviators (free from a friend!)
– cheap after-v-day roses
are some of the Things that make me happy lately.
now that im self imposing a shopping ban of course all kinds of THINGS are floating into my head that i want to get.
my current (awesome, lovely, sweet, amazing) baby camera (sd500) is falling apart. (switches are stopping to work). i guess it’s been 5 years, so that’s about expected.
Ok, so the calculation of the timing took me on a lo-ong memory trip down my blog lane. in 2004 I went to Europe… in 2006 (Early) I went to Australia. So camera is indeed 5 years old. wild! what a long time.
what’s even crazier is that the “expensive” laptop sleeve that i bought in this entry of july 2005 STILL works and STILL looks awesome and STILL is super functional. wild. best $50 spent in terms of bag ownership. (milestone!)
my ipod touch loses its charge within 3-4 hours of operation (like music playing). frustrating.
i want headphones with remote control so that i can go next/prev when i run.
another milestone: i started using google calendar around May 2006 and one of the first entries is of Tim coming to live with me in Sydney. (17th).
mod kat litter box is very very cool. if i ever change the current setup i want it. (though holy shit i could re-buy my current set up like 4 times for what it costs).
Lady Gaga, of course. All of her. Alejandro especially.
all the kitchens below on the path in our renovation :-)
All inspiration and floor plans are here
Currently I’m pricing contractors, finishes and appliances. The floorplan is basically finalized (last images in the set linked above), cabinets are most likely the shiny white abstract ikea line. Still up for debate:
countertop
appliances
tap
sink
I really love white careera marble but its freaking expensive from what I hear.
The desire for the material is awful. I want new shoes, I want to update my wardrobe to be more classic (as if I don’t have enough black in my closet), I want that knock off bag.
My camera seems to have died. Rest in peace, d70. I have no money to get a new one given how I want a new kitchen. Let’s just hope I won’t need to take any photos in the next month. (HAH).
I learned how to make some REALLY kick ass cocktails recently. @shazow and @limedaring were kind enough to let me experiment on them sunday night; then the experiments continued after the lovely dinner at colbourne lane (which apparently is probably like the fanciest restaurant in the city? who knew. SIMONA my darling coworker knew. here is simona.
she took us there as a treat, silly lady. though it was still much appreciated.), when simona came by for continuation of the party. i managed to whip up 4 different cocktails from what seemed absolutely no ingridients on hand.
one milky. (zeus’s… magic juice, let’s say, though our name is a bit more dirty)
one chocolaty (no name)
one lemony (elephaunt lips)
one sweet (a modified sweet lips or something like that)
i’m missing grenadine among other necessary ingridients
tonight i made banana bread and it again succeeded. if you ever want to try making it, this recipe can do no wrong. even with week old bananas. for serious. and it takes like 5 minutes all together of effort for a week of breakfasts. amazing.
after loving the shuffle; after becoming entirely attached-at-the-hip to the ipod touch; i have received/gotten the quad core 27 inch imac for my birthday. (Eg instead of paying off mortgage i got myself a fancy toy. This is me being a 26 year old adult. Clearly I’m learning something over the years…!)
I have never owned an apple machine before. I remember the first time I used one – it was when we came to Canada and I went to grade 8. They had the old macs and the new ones – the all in one, brightly colored ones? I don’t think I really had much real exposure after that – in high school the machines were PCs. At home, they were PCs. At university, they were PCs (by large, anyway, I can’t recall otherwise).
But despite the rarity of the Apple I always had a deep dedication, fondness and a hidden desire to own one.
So as we are DINKs (Double Income No Kids) and I have worked my butt off in form of many late nights, 11pm emails, 7am calls and 8am meetings, I feel (and kinda have) earned myself the ultimate. present. of. all. time. A new, TOP OF THE FSCKING LINE, 27 inch widescreen QUAD FSCKING CORE iMac. I wouldn’t swear but I CANT.
The entire reason for this entry is the overwhelming disbelief and joy that I have went and gotten myself the most top end thing of anything. I’m not whining – its just, I’ve always been very reasonable in my demands. iPod touch – not iPhone. Built PC – not a laptop. Nikon D70 – even if its falling apart quite literally after 5 (5!!!!) years.
But I went and gotten the computer of my dreams.
The funny thing is I didn’t even know how much I’d enjoy using it. My motivations were based in (a) esthetics – we live in a nice place, my computer is highly visible, and I wanted something that would look good – and (b) function – I sure as heck wasn’t going to get a Sony all in one or something silly like that. After the fairly recent announcements of the 21 and 27 inch macs I decided that – fsck yeah! – I’ll treat myself to top of the line.
The smell of new computer is makes me ecstatic. The hugeness of the screen …. is unbelievalbe. But every time that I look down and see THE DASHBOARD. Or everytime that I do ANYTHING AT ALL EVEN SORTING PHOTOS – I am blown away by HOW GOOD IT LOOKS. And I’m not being biased – my crazy dual core 64 bit 2gb ram 500GB raid + dedicated swap PC + 21 inch dell monitor (same manufacturer as one for apple monitors) is right by side. THEY CANNOT BE COMPARED.
2010 is the year I switched. I do not think I will ever, ever switch back. It pains me it took so long. But now – I cannot imagine it.
well, we finally moved out of the bunker. it is a good move – our new place is
a) 1 minute from subway
b) larger
c) has windows
d) has nicer floors
e) is nicely layed out
d) allowed us to ditch a lot of baggage and stuff and start very fresh.
as in, pretty much no furniture fresh. so right now, we still have no sofa, no bed (a futon substitutes temporarily), and only 4 chairs (gasp! :P ). surface wise we have the bed tables, a coffee table, and a small side table. its pretty dang awkward, but certainly means we have lots of space.
today was monday, which i got off to do move-in stuff. boy, was that a great idea… i got up at 8, and only stopped working and doing stuff at 10pm.
the move
the move went incredibly well thanks to the help of all our friends. scarf showed up first, and saved our entire schedule by leaving right away with tim to get the van. while they were gone, i continued to pack the things we didn’t pack the night before – we stayed up until 2 am packing things, and towards the end just ran out of energy. (6 hours packing!)
wait i’m jumping too much forward.
friday
somehow it all came together fairly well. tim picked up the keys; i left work 3-4, and then came back and left again at 5. meanwhile, my mom painted most of the living room, while tim (and maybe mom?) moved up all the laminate that had to adjust to the conditions of the room. just typing this makes me tired. we started off with an empty, dirty-ish, apartment, with carpet in the bedroom and yellow and blue walls. towards the end, it became magnificent.
mom and i finished laying the first coat of paint in the LR and BR (Bedroom), and we all went off to our place and had a quick dinner. parents left, and we went off packing.
okay, then…
saturday
the move day! this is where scarf comes in, and then dad, and then maha and tema and kisa and stalker and everyone just MOVING boxes non stop while i was trying to keep the conveyor line going. towards 1-2pm i started falling apart at the bunker from sheer exhaustion, and tema/scarf/stalker/dad helped me do the last push and wrap it up.
i’ll miss the apartment lots. it was a really fun, interesting, different period of my life, one that is as significant as europe to the person that i am. tim and i met while he lived there, i found my love for interio design while living there, and i found my LOVE for awkward spaces and making them work. we had our first fights, first making ups, first “i love you”, first jobs and graduations (and 2nd graduations for some). we had our Big Talks about life, and lots of silly nights watching tv or sharing funny stuff online. we got our cat/s. tim grew out his hair and cut it; i dropped a table on my toe and completely destroyed (a now regrown) nail there (biggest injury ever i ever had, i think). i left for australia while he lived there; and i moved in after we returned together.
so many happy, drunken, talking evenings with friends. a new year, several birthdays, impromptu get togethers, poker nights, (few) dinner parties, more drinking and talking, and staying up waa-ay too late and shooting the philosophical bullshit. that place lent itself so well to that kind of life – easy, student, chilled out.
i biked to school during wither; i walked to exams over harbord freaking out about databases and philosophy questions. our marriage planning, our budget planning, our life planning, our future planning, all took roots in this place.
i won’t miss the small windows. or the smallness. i forgot how much difference an extra foot ceiling height makes; and windows! are! awesome!
anyway. that place was great. i’m glad its staying in the “family” (stalker has it now, good for him. i hope he makes as many awesome memories there as we did.)
saturday continued
as people were moving boxes, mom was painting and maha cleaned the kitchen. their hard work paid off; kitchen feels CLEAN and rooms look BEAUTIFUL with the coat of “toasted marshmellow” that i really love.
eventually, around 4pm (specifically 3:20pm, 40 minutes ahead of my schedule, how good of a PM am i? :-) that’s SPI of 1.11 for those of you following. ) the move wrapped up by eating some food graciously brought by parents and drinking beer graciously bought by tim and scarf. eventually everyone left, and we went down for a quick nap. the place was a mess; chaos; boxes piled everywhere, bedroom unusable due to no floor; complete insanity.
though, but the end of the day, we went to canadian tire (7 minute walk including getting a fresh mango bubble tea), i cleaned the bathroom and it instantly felt so much better, and thus we gained 2 rooms that became nice. (kitchen and bath).
the highlight of the day, if i am allowed to pick it, was the moment tim kicked me out of the LR (i went to clean the bath) and put together my lovely, beautiful, eames lounge. it is beautiful. it became the centerpiece of elegance among a PILE of boxes; and though that may have been crazy that chair motivated me each moment to KEEP ON CLEANING so that it looks even better.
sunday
an early start by tim at 7am and laterish by me, 9am, as we rose with the city and the sun. my uncle and dad came over and tim joined them in laying down laminate. the guys did a great job, and our bedroom is probably the coolest looking room in the house. while they were doing that, i went off to ikea, with stalker, which took a while but was fairly productive.
later that day we also went to structube, and got 2 more chairs and a desk table (to be delivered) and i stopped by the apartment and got more stuff i forgot. what a stress-less move. so nice to have a friend living in the old place.
monday
and so that brings us to today. after an early start, i tried to
– return laminate (fail)
– return underfloor (win)
– return ikea tv stand thats too big but missing packaging (win)
– return other misc ikea stuff that was sealed (easy win)
– purchase a new shelf (major win; found a great one in as-is in a style that i wanted and that was sold out. and it fit in the car EASY.)
– purchase 2 office chairs in MOST! (win; and possibly found a sofa for mom – she came along for this store)
– clean up clothes (win! did all the laundry (mmmm own laundry rocks), and hung almost everything up. some minor stuff left, extra towels and stuff, but nothing critical.)
– clean up living room (win! more stuff went away as i cleaned up clothing; more stuff went away as i cleaned up and unpacked hallway and misc kitchen stuff; and even MORE stuff got unboxed as it went into the new shelves).
and thus i am at 11pm, having blogged way too much.
summary
we are exhilarated, terrifically happy, and REALLY look forward to next week – when like 90% of our furniture gets delivered.
this wednesday: office chairs
next wednesday: mattress
next week (wed?): sofa, bed, 2 easy chairs, tim’s desk
aaah, i cannot wait.
i really like this table. liked it for a while, actually, but before i was too poor to buy it, and now i am too far to make the effort. so, how freaking AWESOME is it that they are opening in toronto in 2008? REALLY awesome. like, totally.
you can see this desk all over the place.
and this is how ideally the final result will look.
I CANT WAIT!!!
(and wow, a lot of people post photos of themselves putting furniture together.)
