shopping and stuff

date: 1072119300

mood: christmasness
listening to:pink – god is a dj
christmas would be so much more fun if you could find perfect gifts for people without stressing out about it and spending a shitload of money you don’t have!

just 3 more days till the weekend

date: 1120023838

mood: i want another 8 hours in the day just for sleep
listening to:

	M	T	W	R	F
9					
10					NMC329H
11					NMC329H
12		HPS306H		HPS306H	
13	PHL285H		PHL285H		
14	PHL285H		PHL285H		
15				SLA314H	
16	FAH290H			SLA314H	
17	FAH290H				
18		RLG375H		PSY370H	
19		RLG375H		PSY370H	
20				PSY370H	
21

i can’t wait till the weekend is here. i want a clean room and energy.
no linguistics tomorrow. yay!

RLG375H1 F Buddhist Thought L5101 Tuesday 6-8 26Lectures
An introduction to philosophical thought in the Buddhist traditions of India and Tibet.
reallyreallyREALLY want but apparently requires permission if i’m missing 3 RLG courses – which of course i am. damn. calling tomorrow

PSY370H1 F Thinking & Reasoning L5101 P R6-9 J. Vervaeke
definitely taking – prof awesome and required for degree

NMC329H1 F Dead Sea Scrolls L0101 F10-12
An examination of the political context in which these scrolls were produced and preserved.; different theories of who produced
these texts, e.g., Sadduccees, Zadokite Priests or Essenes; the way the scrolls use earlier biblical traditions. No
Hebrew/Aramaic required; students with background in these languages will have opportunities to use them.
Possibly to brush up on hebrew, and sounds cool

SLA314H1 F Dostoevsky L0101 R3-5
Got really good rating. 90%+ retake, excellent prof, and, well, interesting.

also neat but don’t make schedule as nice (i.e. 2 days off – mon and wed)
PHL285H1 F Aesthetics L0101 MW1:30-3 39L
An historical and systematic introduction to the main questions in the philosophy of art and beauty from Plato to the present.
These include the relation between art and beauty, the nature of aesthetic experience, definitions and theories of art, the
criteria of excellence in the arts, and the function of art criticism.

FAH290H1 F Asian Art L0101 P M4-6
Major themes of eastern art drawn from the rich legacy of Ancient Near Eastern, Islamic, Indian, Chinese and Japanese
civilizations from prehistory to the recent past. Emphasis on appreciation within cultural context; museum visits.

HIS295H1 F African History L5101 W6- 8

NEW303H1 F The Unconscious L0101 M4-7 A. Yeoman
Current discussions of the hypothesis, especially Jung’s collective unconscious; critical examination through retrospective
analysis of the evolution and development of the concept in works from philosophy, psychology, poetry, ethnology, science and
popular culture that anticipated, influenced or were influenced by the work of Freud and Jung, post-Freudians and post-
Jungians.

HPS306H1 F Technology & War L0101 TR12 B. Hall
An examination of the tools of war in the Western world from the Middle Ages to World War II, including not only weapons but
science and technology.

i need to pick 4-5 of these by tomorrow morning and psy370 must go there

i still gotta get approval for RLG375. grrrr. its so awesome. i want. grrr.

feels like heaven

date: 1115102010

mood: total rollercoaster of a day
listening to:sarah brightman – dust in the wind

the good feeling is after the storm.
the better thing is to have a shelter.
and the best thing is when its in your heart.
cause then you’re always safe.

life rawks. sky is up. vacuums suck. fans blow.

date: 1110862428

mood: +great weekend, +great monday, +great group meeting, -3 assignments, +++++montreal
listening to:underworld – cowgirl

neat 1 2 3 4
clothing 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

a girl in computer science

date: 1108103874

mood: doubleplusgood
listening to:

dark side of the moon

date: 1104703525

mood: tired. handra.
listening to:pink floyd, comfortably numb

i’m stuck between two places. here, and there. sometimes i’m more here, and sometimes i’m more there, but the transition is painful. writing emails is difficult, it brings up happy memories that i am afraid i’ll not be able to replicate. when i was there, i felt like an adult … a young adult, if that suits you more. when i was there, i felt mature, independent. and here, i suddenly am trying to mesh into my old image, who i was before i left, and it is not who i am any more.
maybe that is why i am so tired and shying away from people. maybe that’s the reason for my headaches, for the sickness, for the handra.
i am just not sure how to speed up the process.

anyway.

new years came and went, and so did my birthday. i’m 21. an abstract number … representing nothing. i am happy; as everyone i have ups and downs, but majority and overwhelmingly i am happy, and could not ask for more from life. (i can of course still demand more from myself, heh).

my new years resolution is to hold promises, and to be on time. as such, expect me to make less promises.

i hope to spend more time with my dog, to raise my marks, to balance life, to be more healthy, to shoot more but less at the same time. i hope to be more creative, more smart, and i hope next year i’ll be able to look back as i am now, and say that this year i have learned more than i could have expected.

i’m still sick.

date: 1097588098

mood: sick.
listening to:

mirjam is moving today.

i had 4 hours of classes. i was chair of a very unproductive pbl discussion.

in the end after everything everything my prof mentioned this quote by nietzsche, and i immedeately thought how perfect it is for photography, as an artist.

But in the smallest and greatest happiness there is always one thing that makes it happiness: the power of forgetting, or, in more learned phrase, the capacity of feeling ‘unhistorically’ throughout its duration. One who cannot leave himself behind on the threshold of the moment and forget the past, who cannot stand on a single point, like a goddess of victory, without fear or giddiness, will never know what happiness is, and, worse still, will never do anything to make others happy.

-Nietzsche, from The Use and Abuse of History

anyway. i have 2 more hours of classes today. i had 2 trachitol to freeze my throat (and some mouth incidentally) from pain, one 400mg ibuprofen, and one can of red bull to make sure i’m on my feet.

i quickly googled trachitol, and asked my prof for some translation. here is the list of ingridients:
lidocaine hydrochloride-1-wate r / aluminiumkaliumsulfa at 12-water / propylparahydroxyben zoaat / pepermunt olie / sorbitol / magnesiumstearaat / paraffine, vloeibaar /

i only googled lidocaine, and its a numbing agent.

by the way:
ibuprofen (advil, hinthint): “Prolonged use can cause gastrointestinal problems, even liver failure. If you’re taking ibuprofen consistently, talk to your doctor. You can be monitored for problems. ”

okay. quick summary of the day so far and i’m off to home.
woke up at 6 (again) from thirst. drank warm water that i put on my bed stand from night before. went back to sleep. woke up at 9, with a killer headache (and other joys of being sick, like nausea, weakness). took the pink pill, made tea, studied, made sure to hit my head twice against stuff (honestly, i’m so freaking clumsy! i’m sick, so its not helping, but argh, bumping into stuff full speed when you have a headache is sooo unconductive to good mood, especially in the morning), borrowed francesca’s bike and ran to lecture after realizing ishouldn’t miss it as its important, and relevant to the discussion which i’m supposed to chair.

2 hours class, 30 min break – i review for my discussion, drink my red bull, then 1 hour discussion, with prof greately assisting me. now its done, i write this and i’m off to home, where i’m going to go with thomas who is driving mirjam to her new home on the other side of the river, and dropping me off next to my faculty (i hope). and then, the joys of joys, 2 more hours of classes (french), and then i wait 30 minutes for bus and come home.

*groan*

i want to get better. i want to sleep. but i really can’t miss any more work, and i can’t just do nothing, and i’m sick and tired of feeling so numb from the painkillers – at least i’m on my feet, but goddamnit, i want my body to obey me and stop being so weak, and sick, and ARGH.

it is very good that everyone are so understanding (while being slightly sceptic of the fac ti’m still sick, but i dont blame them), and are willing to help as muhc as they can.

if i don’t get better tomorrow… i will… i wil… …

i don’t know what i’ll do, but it’ll be something bad! like chips. mmm, chips.

friday morning

date: 1094833426

mood: horrible headache
listening to:

alright, this will be a quickie as i’m dying of a headache.
see http://www.olya.org/floormates/ for some photographs of life.

this morning i woke up late (11), jerome made me some coffee (i drank black coffee, yay), made toast like my mom used to (with milk, 1 egg, some sugar), for myself and julien. spoke to sandra for a bit. no one else was around – jerome left to class.

francesca is coughing and is very sick, now is jerome as well. i asked him if he thinks its a contagious disease, he says he is sick from the 7 sins party, as we were walking home, and it was very cold, and he was only wearing a tshirt. hmm. i’m still a bit worried, cause now i have a headache and feel weak… blah.

washed dishes, made kitchen look nice. julien put on “lets get retarded”, except here it is “lets get it started”. i mean, when we went dancing, it was that, and now on a *cd* that he has it is also that. how silly. i explained to him that its not really all that innocent of a song. who’s corrupting whom – europe america or vice versa?

it is actually a dillema, am i russian or canadian. when people ask me where i am from i say “russian canadian” to get the best of both worlds. it confuses them even more, but then so does my name.

studied for a bit before class, helped julien with his english problems – i am constantly offering my help as all of them are having *SUCH* difficulties with english in their reading! and their reading is extremely hard too – its law and philosophy combined, like top 2 brain numbing subjects. today the words i was asked before leaving were “whether”, “promote”. some others, but you know, its just … odd words that you need to know.
each time i get asked a word from french guys (cause they are the ones having most difficulty), i learn that word in french as well.

then left to class.

then – class, 2nd class of philosophy, its hard and brain numbing, i like it waaaaaaaaaaaaay less than i do social psych (which is fun, i wonder how my course is different from hesi’s course).

after class, sat outside, went online, uploaded photographs and realized i can’t access them. was battling this issue when i see a photographer with a huuuge camera and a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge camera bag taking a photograph of one of the guys i keep seeing around here. after he was done i spoke to him a little – turns out he is from the local student newspaper (where i tried to apply last afternoon, while speaking with a writer from it, but she told me that they have 2 photorgraphers that they *pay* (lucky bastards), so she can’t accept volunteers). very nice guy, classically photographer, big (in each sense of the word), messy hair, huge camera bag, messy.

we spoken for a while about photography, and how it changes and how hard it is to get a GOOD photograph… he made me feel better. i complained that after a year of taking photographs something changed, and i’m never happy with what i’m doing, and it feels like i lost the ability to take photographs that would make me satisifed, and its frustrating and depressing like hell. he told me that .. its normal. tha the has the same thing. and he thinks that 1-2 good photographs a year is a joy. i am not sure i even satisfy that, but at least i’m not as much of a freak as i thought.

anyway, his website: http://www.philipdriessen.com/

that was cool. then i started chatting on icq and other people came out and it was a mess and i hate triyng to talk to someone online when someone is trying to talk to me r/l, cause it seems very rude if i juts stick my nose into the laptop… so yeah…. i tried to balance that, didn’t work out, i ran back inside, on the couch.

on the couch, in the common room, i again found more trojans on my computer, even though i installed avg, updated service pack, and ran adaware 3 times a day, and was 100% clean on all parameters this morning. BLAH!

stupid unprotected wireless network… well it IS protected, i just guess not well enough/

anyway.. got rid of the 180search assistant popup, AGAIN.

wrote some emails to parents, friends. my head hurts, so my apologies if my email was short, uncoherent, or plain nonexistent. i’ll do better next time – it was difficult to concentrate to write this, but since apparently all of you are like, expecting this to be a novel and stuff, i went from 5 lines (which is all i had in the beginning), to this, cause… blah… screw you… stuffs…

i’m worried i’m spending too much on food (simple groceries). i want to buy chicken and stuff for recipes my mom sent me (and beef for the ones that maha sent me), but i gotta figure out a way to make others pay too.

anyway, tomorrow is saturday so building is closed, and we will see how i feel and how schedule is, and whether i’ll be able to update this. my parents have all my phone numbers and stuff, so ask them if you have questions =p
sanakoev, then the thing with the a and the circle, then mail, and then ru

okay, that’s all! i’ll try to update on my computer if i don’t go online. thank you all for reading! tell me what you want now pictures of/descriptions of.

preparing computer for departure

date: 1093476040

mood:
listening to:

as in, preparing my desktop.
since myie had open 7+ windows of pretty clothing, i decided to let all of you know what i like in case you win the lottery or something. =p

in order from most liked down: