date: 1075322460
mood: depressed, hopeless, stupid
listening to:
i gotten back my algebra test.
as you may remember i was confident i gotten a good mark on that exam. istudied for more hours than i can describe. i took a prep couse. i spent 9 hours in a lecture covering everything that was given through out the year, solved questions from instructors manual, solved pretty much all of old exam question that i could get my hands on and memorized … well, i thought i had it aced/
i THOUGHT i gotten a good mark. i THOUGHT that they made a mistake. i THOUGHT that i could do well if study
i thought wrong.
or rather, i learned that i can’t learn, i can’t think and i cant remember.
i gotten a 69. on an exam where i was confident i’ve gotten 95. for mistakes i shouldn’t have made if i had brains.
i have never, ever felt as hopeless, as … well, given up and … pointless, stupid, demoralized, discouraged and futile in a long time.
its not just the mark. its the fact i studied for so long.
i want to drop down to a lower/easier logic course. i don’t have brains. i dont have memory. i can’t remember stuff, i can’t concentrate on anything, i keep drifting off when i try not to and .. .i fail, even when i try my hardest.
there’s nothing, absolutely nothing, anyone can do or say now to correct this. its just … not worth it.