date: 1072825206
mood: pissed off
listening to:
i never realized how competitive i am until i started taking more than two classes with the same person, and playing chess with a friend.
every single mark that i get lower literally makes my heart hurt
every single game i lose makes me feel like an idiot
i take every. single. thing. SO personally.
i was having a great day, a great BIRTHDAY until i went and started playing kungfu chess http://arcade.icq.com/game_multi_chess.htm
really, i should learn. i can’t be a gracious winner, i can’t be a calm loser, i take everything very personally. what sucks even more that i have 4 classes with the same person next semester.
and i am going to die, every.single.time. we’ll get assignments back.
i hate it. i really really hate it. i just can’t take anything relaxed-ly. and there is no way out of it! because that person just keeps wanting to play chess with me!
and the worst thing that if i win it makes no difference whatsoever. i feel guilty for winning and i feel like they let me win.
FUCK. i want my birthday to be better than this.