date: 1097588098
mood: sick.
listening to:
mirjam is moving today.
i had 4 hours of classes. i was chair of a very unproductive pbl discussion.
in the end after everything everything my prof mentioned this quote by nietzsche, and i immedeately thought how perfect it is for photography, as an artist.
But in the smallest and greatest happiness there is always one thing that makes it happiness: the power of forgetting, or, in more learned phrase, the capacity of feeling ‘unhistorically’ throughout its duration. One who cannot leave himself behind on the threshold of the moment and forget the past, who cannot stand on a single point, like a goddess of victory, without fear or giddiness, will never know what happiness is, and, worse still, will never do anything to make others happy.
-Nietzsche, from The Use and Abuse of History
anyway. i have 2 more hours of classes today. i had 2 trachitol to freeze my throat (and some mouth incidentally) from pain, one 400mg ibuprofen, and one can of red bull to make sure i’m on my feet.
i quickly googled trachitol, and asked my prof for some translation. here is the list of ingridients:
lidocaine hydrochloride-1-wate r / aluminiumkaliumsulfa at 12-water / propylparahydroxyben zoaat / pepermunt olie / sorbitol / magnesiumstearaat / paraffine, vloeibaar /
i only googled lidocaine, and its a numbing agent.
by the way:
ibuprofen (advil, hinthint): “Prolonged use can cause gastrointestinal problems, even liver failure. If you’re taking ibuprofen consistently, talk to your doctor. You can be monitored for problems. ”
okay. quick summary of the day so far and i’m off to home.
woke up at 6 (again) from thirst. drank warm water that i put on my bed stand from night before. went back to sleep. woke up at 9, with a killer headache (and other joys of being sick, like nausea, weakness). took the pink pill, made tea, studied, made sure to hit my head twice against stuff (honestly, i’m so freaking clumsy! i’m sick, so its not helping, but argh, bumping into stuff full speed when you have a headache is sooo unconductive to good mood, especially in the morning), borrowed francesca’s bike and ran to lecture after realizing ishouldn’t miss it as its important, and relevant to the discussion which i’m supposed to chair.
2 hours class, 30 min break – i review for my discussion, drink my red bull, then 1 hour discussion, with prof greately assisting me. now its done, i write this and i’m off to home, where i’m going to go with thomas who is driving mirjam to her new home on the other side of the river, and dropping me off next to my faculty (i hope). and then, the joys of joys, 2 more hours of classes (french), and then i wait 30 minutes for bus and come home.
*groan*
i want to get better. i want to sleep. but i really can’t miss any more work, and i can’t just do nothing, and i’m sick and tired of feeling so numb from the painkillers – at least i’m on my feet, but goddamnit, i want my body to obey me and stop being so weak, and sick, and ARGH.
it is very good that everyone are so understanding (while being slightly sceptic of the fac ti’m still sick, but i dont blame them), and are willing to help as muhc as they can.
if i don’t get better tomorrow… i will… i wil… …
i don’t know what i’ll do, but it’ll be something bad! like chips. mmm, chips.